36 pounds and counting

I am proud to report that I have lost 36 pounds since August 21st!  It definitely has not been easy.  It actually has been down right awful at times.  But I have tried to stick with it the best I can and just pick myself up when I slide.  Just like this....

Sadly, the month of January was not a good month.  I only went and worked out one time and I did not workout at home.  However, I decided that I was not going to give up everything I had worked so hard for as of yet.  So, this morning I did a mile on the treadmill and then headed to the gym after work.  Yeah, I was only at the gym for twenty minutes (gym closes at 6 and I did not get there until 5:25), but at least I went today.  I could have easily said "oh it is too late" or "they will be closing soon and it is not worth it".  But I went and I have felt great since. 

Also, I have changed my eating habits around again.  I had lost the edge on the low carb thing.  However, I am starting to pick it back up.  Okay, so I had pizza and birthday cake today for lunch, but I did work out twice :)  I am trying to eat a healthy breakfast every morning and taking something lite for lunch.  Since it is just JJ and I for dinner (six nights a week/every other week), I have been cooking more at home instead of getting take out.  Yes, it is hard to cook for two but I am working on it!  Also, as for the low carb - no, I am again not going real low, low carb.  I am trying to average around 40-50 carbs a day.  For a person that ate way more that 200 carbs or more a day, that is pretty awesome!

So, here is to 36 pounds I am no longer carrying around!  And here is to the next 36 pounds I hope will be lost before this coming August!

Have a blessed evening everyone!

Here are the cool resistance bands set my sister-in-law Misti gave me for Christmas.  I have decided that every other day is going to be resistance band days!

My new favorite go to snack - SoyJoy bars.  With 13g carbs, they are a good little snack without wrecking my carb count.  Plus, I can just throw them in my purse for easy carrying.

I love these Pure Protein bars!  Most mornings this is my breakfast.  With 20g protein, I am full until lunch time.  Especially great to grab and eat in the car if I am running late for work.  Beats driving through McDonald's.

Now for some good news....

It is that time again folks!  Time for a Johnny update!!  WOO HOO!! 

January 27th was four months post surgery for Johnny.  It is hard to believe it has already been four months.  He is down 8 pant sizes and has lost around 105 lbs!  He finally went out bought a new pair of jeans since his other pair were actually falling off of him.  Now it is time for a new belt since he had to cut his off the other day and add holes to it so it would fit correctly.  I have been heming pants for work for the past four weeks.  He wore one size for 2 weeks and then I had to hem a couple of new pairs just this past week.  I am so proud of him!  Here are two new pictures:

Have a great night everyone!!

Prayers needed

I could not think of anything witty to title this blog.  Actually, the title says it all.  Prayers are very much needed and appreciated right now because today was not a good day at all.

As I wrote on Friday, I went for my mammogram.  Honestly everyone, I left there feeling GREAT!  I had finally stopped putting it off and went to have the procedure done.  Well, as of 9:30ish this morning, all that completely changed. 

I received a call from the Breast Center at CAMC this morning.  Before I even called them back (a few minutes after I got the message), I knew actually why they were calling.  And sadly, my fears came to light when I called them back.  A cyst has been found in my left breast.  They want me to come back and have a compression mammogram and possible ultrasound as soon as possible to check the area.  The lady on the other end was all perky as she she was telling me this and all I could think is "How can you be so perky giving someone this news?"

She stated that a cyst had been found in the left breast and that further testing would be needed.  I asked if it would need biopsied and she was like "Don't even think like that."  I explained that I had already been through this once and I knew the drill.  She proceeds to tell me that I should not think like that and they just need to get me scheduled.  So, the appointment has been set for Friday at 1pm.

The minute I hung up the phone, I just felt like my world had been turned upside down.  I immediately called Johnny and started bawling.  Bless his heart, he was immediately telling me not to worry and that everything would be fine.  Also, thankful I did not have a patient at 10 because I would have had to reschedule.  There would have been no way I could have worked on anyone at this point. 

I wish I could say that I am okay with this.  I wish I could say I have 100% faith that this is going to end up like the last time.  I wish I could say I am not going to worry myself sick of this.  Sadly though, I can not say anything like that.  Right now, the only thing I can say I feel is complete sadness.  All the feelings I had from the last time have already started to surface.  The fears of what if.  The fears of what about Johnny and JJ. The fear that maybe this is not like last time since I heard back SO FAST this time (I did not hear anything for almost 5 days the last time).    The anger at myself of why did I put this off when I knew I needed to have one in July 2011.  The fears of just being scared.

I debated on whether to share this or not.  I was only going to tell my family and a few friends.  However, I then started thinking No, this is why you shared the other story.  To encourage other woman out there to go and have a mammogram whether it be your first or 20th.  Also, the other reason I wanted to share is because AGAIN, this was not felt.  I had just had an exam THAT morning!  Dr. Bush did not feel it and I had not felt it before either.  That is why mammograms are SO IMPORTANT!!

So, if you don't mind, please just say a little prayer that this will all turn out okay.  I know I should not be worried because I do believe that the Lord is the ultimate physician and He will be with me throughout all of this just like last time.  However, I think anybody would be worried and just plain scared just like I am right now. Also, please say a prayer for Johnny and JJ.  Though they are men of few words, I know they must be just as worried as I am right now.

PS - I promise that I will give an update about Johnny and my weight loss tomorrow night.  However, I just felt that I needed to share this tonight!  God Bless you all!

Time to make a little time....

To get the ta-tas checked!!  Yes, I went for my mammogram today.  And ladies if you have not went in a while or have never been for one, please go!  And for the men reading - encourage your wife, girlfriend, significant other to go have one as well!  It only takes about an hour and it means alot to you and alot of other people!! 

Now, I am sure you are wondering why is she going to write about this?  Isn't this blog suppose to be about the road to the new her?  Well, on the road to the new me, I have decided to stop making excuse for going to the doctor.  Also, there two reasons why this is so important for me.

Reason #1 - A friend, Beth, lost her battle with breast cancer this week.  She fought the cancer with more courage than I could ever imagine.  Sadly, she lost the battle this on past Monday at the age of 36.  Please say a prayer for her three children and her husband.

Reason #2 - After my own scare, it is worth it because of the piece of mind is what it gives me.  Only a few of my friends know this story and now I want to share it with you. 

In 2008, when I went for my annual exam, I was giving an order to go for my very first mammogram.  I was going to be 36 and this was my birthday present from Dr. Pearcy.  Well, I did not go.  I kept saying I will do it tomorrow and of course something always came up.  Well, the next year, guess what I got again?  Yep, another order to get a mammogram.  Again, I kept putting it off but in December 2009 when Johnny told me I needed to get it done before another year went by again.  So, on December 30, 2009, I went in for the mammogram.  Now, we have all hard the horror stories of how bad it hurts and all that.  Ladies, I am here to tell you it really does not hurt.  Yes, it is a little uncomfortable but nothing to horribly bad.  So, I had the mammogram and went on my merry way.  Sadly, in a week, that merry feeling would be replaced with a lot of feelings of anixety and other mixed emotions.

On the first week of January 2010, I recevied the call no one wants to hear.  Something had shown up on my mammogram and I needed to have an ultrasound.  I was scheduled immediately and began freaking out because they could not tell me anything except that it was something abnormal and needed further testing.  So, the next week, I went back to place I thought I would only see once a year - the CAMC Breast Cancer center.  I guess the tech could see how nervous I was and she was absolutely wonderful.  She kept making small talk and just keeping my mind off the procedure. 

Again, I left but this time praying that nothing would come of this.  Maybe it was only a little shadow and nothing more.  But of course, my mind swung to the complete opposite direction.  What if it was something more serious?  Those were some very intense days.  I had just finally decided that it was out of my hands when....

I got the next call no one wants to get - There was something found on the ultrasound and I was being referred to Dr. Witsberger.  I felt literally about fainted.  This was not good.  Every bad thought rolled through my head.  I was told I would be scheduled ASAP and would be called when they got in touch with the Dr's office.  I finally received the call the next day that I would be seen on February 10, 2010 (I think that was the date but honestly the actual date may be wrong) for a biopsy.

Those were a very long couple of weeks.  I would think about what if it were cancer?  What would happen to Johnny and JJ if something happened to me?  Why couldn't we just do this now to stop all the worrying?  Sadly, I went into a little shell and became depressed.  Johnny was very supportive though he had a very hard time talking about what was going on though I really wanted to talk.

Finally, the day came.  Johnny and I went to the Breast Cancer center for the third time in less than 2 months.  Nerves were very raw and I felt like I was going to burst into tears at anytime.  I just kept silently praying, please God do not let this be cancer.  Please let there be only good news today.  Finally, after we set in the holding room for what seemed like an eternity, we went back to the operating room.  And yes, I said we.  Johnny was allowed back at the very beginning when Dr. Witsberger talked to me and did another ultrasound.  After the ultrasound was complete, Dr. Witsberger showed us the area and told us what he was going to do.  That is when I could not take it anymore, I had to ask the question - "Does it look cancerous?"  Dr. Witsberger looked at us both and said he highly doubted it.  He told us it looked more like a fibroid and if he thought it looked cancerous, he would tell us up front. 

So, Johnny was taken back to the holding room and Dr. Witsberger proceed with the procedure.  It honestly was over quite quickly.  After he was done, unbeknowest to me, he went and talked to Johnny one on one.  Again telling him he did not believe this was cancer and he felt confident that everything would be benign.  After finding out about this, I gained even more respect for Dr. Witsberger.  Finally, I was taking back to the holding room and we were released.  I would like to say that hearing what Dr. Witsberger said about it not being cancerous calmed my fears.  However, I still kept thinking what if. 

Thankfully, I received the call a couple of days later that everything was fine.  (Of course, this was after calling Dr. Witsberger office for what felt like a million times.)  It had a been a fibroid and was benign.  I would receive a letter in a couple of days with the findings.  However, I would need to have another mammogram in six months just to double check everything.  I was also told that there was a good possibilty that more of these fibroids could appear later.  I immediately called Johnny and shared the good news.  Six months later, I returned again for another mammogram and praise the Lord, everything was perfectly fine. 

I wanted to share this because even though it was a benign fibroid, it was so small I could not feel it when I did my own exams or when the doctor did his exams.  Therefore, this is way mammograms are SO IMPORTANT!  Don't think just because nothing is felt, everything is perfectly fine.  Because sometimes, something could be there too small to be felt.  And even though mine turned out okay, I keep thinking if it had been something worse, maybe my chances would have been better because we caught it early.  So, thanks to my wonderful husband for pushing me to get that mammogram done!

Sadly, I will admit - I did not go last year for my mammogram.  I should have and again I made reasons for not going.  I also think fear played into not going because I kept thinking "what if they find something else?"  But after Beth losing her battle this past week, I decided that there would be no excuses this year or any year after this. 

So, after my annual appointment today, I marched myself downstairs and got my mammogram!  Yes, I will admit, some of those old thoughts have came back in already.  However, I have faith that everything is going to be just fine.  I know that the Lord will give me the strength not to worry about this until I get the results which I know, again, will be fine.

SO - LADIES - even though this was a little long - moral of the story is this -- GET YOUR MAMMOGRAM!!!  You just never know......

(Again, sorry so long but I felt like I need to share my story.  And, if you would ever need a doctor for this matter - which I pray NONE OF YOU EVER WILL - I cannot recommend anyone higher that Dr. Witsberger!  He was absolutely fabulous!)